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Now I need to
digress a little here, I know I said I
wouldn't, but I do need to talk about my
time, those seven years cloistered in the
ACIM Academy. I had encountered many
different religious and Spiritual people
traveling in India and around the world, yet
my heart had remained with the teachings of
A course in Miracles. I had built faith
within myself but I hadn't yet understood
entirely what the faith was for. I realized
that the truth existed within the pages of
the Course and I knew the book well but I
hadn't consolidated the wisdom within me
yet.
Naturally being human I followed the ego in
most things, the Academy served me because
the teachings were complex and so must have
held some great mysterious meaning that was
beyond
 me. I was comfortable in a Western
hierarchy because I had known nothing else,
since my birth there had always been a
father, or god like figure in my life that
was beyond question.
Yet I had rejected the Guru's of India, I
was able to think about stuff like that
there, because when you are in a strange
culture you need to think fairly
consciously, about everything. In America
though I might as well have been in
Australia or New Zealand, I was comfortable
and the old unquestioned laws of my ego took
hold.
 The Academy was no different from any Ashram
or other institution I had seen anywhere in
the world, it was a hierarchy, it had a top
man who's word was law. It had an inner
circle, newbie's and levels of participation
all of which fitted nicely into my comfort
zone, I never looked twice. My rebellious
spirit was tolerated and I lived there
without to much conflict or significant
progress, in a mundane even dull frame of
mind. I was like everything I despise in
humans, accepting my lot and going with the
flow, as best I could.
I wasn't listening to the stillness inside
so my life became drab and colorless, let me
say here that that shit creeps up on you
when you stop paying attention. I can't look
for the cause of my decline anywhere outside
of myself, I had forgotten my purpose, I had
stopped looking for God. There are places
and people that are only to happy to support
us in these times of brain death and they
are to be avoided. Like crystal meth,
that first high they offer you is heaven,
but then you end up chasing that first high
forever and never getting it in an addictive
fug that leads inevitably to conflict.
So, there I was, oblivious to my real
situation and ready to learn another of
those big life lessons, I wasn't exactly
ready for it but it happened anyway. I
discovered to my utter astonishment that
physical abuse of children was a problem for
some of the men at the Academy, that
children I knew and were close to had been
victims of this abuse. Like all institutions
it was kept within their walls and as
authoritative people in these situations
always say, "we'll deal with this
ourselves"
I was pushed all of a sudden into action, it
was like the lights had been out for a long
time and someone had switched them on, I was
blinded. At first I was furiously angry and
wanted to expose the people concerned, then
I turned bitter because even when you report
this stuff, without actual physical proof it
is impossible to get the regular authorities
to act. I know because I spent 3 days giving
testimony to the FBI about it. Nothing came
of it!
I realized I had to get out of the
situation, I had been reading a book called
"Disappearance of the Universe" by
Gary Renard. I was starting to glimpse the
reality of the meaninglessness of everything
so this experience was extremely testing for
me, I had applied great meaning (judgment)
to what society calls "abuse". I wouldn't
truly understand the full wisdom of this
book for another few years but I would keep
it handy and use it's guidance as best I
could.
I had a very good friend that I had met
online, we had known each other for a number
of years through online gaming and email.
She offered to have me come live with her as
we had both had strokes and had much in
common. I accepted and I moved quickly to
Washington DC, I wanted to get legal in the
States so we decided to marry, I got
residency fairly easily and that was that.
I spent a few years very angry at my friends
at the Academy, I wanted the place
investigated and the evil rooted out, I was
so full of myself, so sure I knew what was
best.
The time came when Dorothea, my friend, was
to retire, I was tired of the drudgery of
work as well so we decided to move down to
Mexico. We rented a beautiful apartment here
in San Miguel and move to Mexico where my
REAL Awakening was to take place....
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On the Master
Teacher:
Master
Teacher was whatever the observer (YOU)
wanted him to be - He was a cultist to some,
and a savior to others, a sexual deviant to
still others and to some an expert on ACIM -
He fitted the convenient bill for people to
see either their OWN salvation or their OWN
corruption outside themselves and thus stay
comfortably uninvolved, irresponsible...
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Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part 5 |
Part 6 |
Part 7 |
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